I made my biggest mistake early on.  I was simply trying to explain how much I love my grandmother.  "Wǒ hěn xǐhuān wǒ de nǎi nai."

I had started dating my now wife a few months earlier.  We had been spending enough time together that her mother decided it was time to meet me.  I didn't really understand how important this meeting was or I would have prepared more.  I just hadn't lived in Taiwan long enough to understand the role parents played in their adult children's lives.

So Sharon informs me that we need to have tea with her mother.  I agree but feel like I'm 17 and about to meet my girlfriend's mother for the first time.  I'm a bit nervous but then what can go wrong?

Sharon and her family decide that we should meet at a tea house.  They decide on one near a temple that's about halfway between Sharon's home and my apartment.  It's a cold winter so Sharon and I bundle up and get on my motor scooter and head that way.

We drive by the temple, which I always enjoy.  It's a pretty building in the middle of the concrete jungle of downtown Taichung.  Cities in Taiwan are remarkably similar everywhere.  They are the ultimate urban suburbia.  There are really only a few types of buildings.  Small houses or apartment buildings with the first floor setup as a shop or business of some sort.  Then there are larger apartment buildings with a security guard posted near the entrance or larger skyscrapers for the larger corporations.  Most common are the apartment buildings with stores.   The stores are either a 7-11 or something similar, small mom and pop restaurants, a laundry or some kind of supply store.  Interspersed among these buildings are larger apartment buildings that also have businesses on the first floor.  Finally there are taller skyscrapers that are devoted to businesses.  Here and there, you run across parks or unique buildings.  This temple is large and not very tall.  The open feeling this creates and decorative walls of the temple make it a relaxing part of town to drive in.  We drive by and park across the street at a small tea shop.

It is a partially outdoor shop like you might see on a trip to the Caribbean.  However, it's cold enough that they have thick plastic sheets hanging down on all sides of the building.  This prevents the wind from blowing into the outside portion of the shop.  Well at least it slows the wind down some.  I walk in to meet Sharon's mother.  I sit down at the table and look around.  I see Sharon sitting next to a smiling Chinese woman she identifies as her mother.  Next to her mother is her aunt.  I learn that it isn't Sharon's biological aunt but rather a close family friend that she calls her aunt.  Neither Sharon's mother or aunt can speak any English.  Next to her are Sharon's two younger sisters who are both in their early to mid twenties.  They can speak some broken English.

So the interview begins.  Sharon's mother asks me a few questions about my family and how I like Taiwan.  She then pauses before asking me one that I can tell is more important than the others.  The real interview starts now.  She asks me, "What's important to you?"  I think for a moment and I know that family is important and I decide my answer was "my grandmother."

I moved in with my grandmother and grandfather during high school shortly after my parents split.  My dad was staying there until he got on his feet.  After high school my dad remarried and moved in with his new wife. Throughout high school and my college years, my grandparent's home was a stable place with the support I needed to begin building my adult life.  Eventually my grandfather passed away.  I went to graduate school and built up a mountain of debt on a trip to Europe during the summer break.  Upon returning for my final year of graduate school, I stayed at my grandmothers for a few weeks until I could find an apartment.  Weeks turned into a few months and then a few more years as I started off my professional career and paid off my credit card debt.  My grandmother's support had enabled me to find a stable landing spot during college breaks and had really been the base that I returned to when life's storms became difficult.  So I knew my answer.

I thought about how to say what I wanted in Chinese.  I looked at Sharon's mother and said, "Wǒ hěn xǐhuān wǒ de nēi nēi," thinking that I'd found a true but perfect answer to her question.  I look around the table to see if my answer passed muster.  I am surrounded by five women all of whom are laughing at me.  My wife explains that while I meant to say nai nai, grandmother in English, I had in fact said nei nei or breasts in English.  So instead of relating the importance of family and the support my grandmother had given me, I'd offered the narcissistic idea that my breasts were my most important feature.  Luckily, my now wife was there to rescue me from this blunder and explain what I meant to say and why.

To the delight of my students, I have told this story many times.  It provided them an opportunity to listen to a story in English with a few Chinese words thrown in and enjoy my misfortune.  It also allowed them the chance to see that others make mistakes when speaking foreign languages and hopefully take more risks in their attempt to master English.  I suppose today, I'm offering you that same chance.